raised in hope(for rich and paul cali)


'i can't reduce myself...'

i guess we realized the hopeless of the whole thing if not for each other,for each one of us together. we never fell below where our brother or sister could catch us and hold us up. and even tho we are dispersed and far from one another,it's really only a superficial understanding of closeness that keeps us from one another. my brothers are still with me,my sisters are still with me.


i had been totally ripped open and laughed
when the knees on my pants were ripped open
slept with my lip split open,and
the shitty insistence of time to pass quickly.
i've been silly,full of thoughts
of my brother and i sitting against buildings
like a couple of fucking characters.
anywhere with my face ground into the dirt
completely sober
or else,why feel anything?
never counted how many floors,that's no badge
but only count your complete honesty
with your friend when you meant to be sleeping,
laughing your patheticness,pitch black
conversations
heart hear,even talking about love lives.

when i sat up on diner table,or a countertop
with my arms,one sleeping on the other
and my eyes were full of light,youth and
now i stroke my beard
laughing my patheticness,but laughing still
like when i finally gave in and drank coffee
thinking myself sanctified,
it was still good to be ripped open
to grab my brother's ear and youth,
misplaced my old kicking shoes,my youth
sneer past the liquor store,the cigar shop.


youth literature,we can't say we
originated anything except ourselves.
our origins of inky hands,papercuts are
blessings,even an old guy
wants a papercut every now and then.
hands tied up,what did i even read then?
faked my way through a bhagavad-gita verse
(some things never change,right up to just
the other day),and highlighted
the best pieces from nothing zine
which i thought were happening to me or
prophecy of time coming up. i never
thanked tre for all that.
i danced,only once i remember
and embarrassed even then to express myself.
i didn't think it was like all the punching
faces,kick contest
because of a more real hand patting me
on the back,holding me up.


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